There’s No “P” in Ool, Let’s Keep It That Way

Ok, so this is the month of January.  It’s the beginning of a new year, right?  Yay!  You know what that means?  New Year Resolutions!  Whoopee!

Unfortunately that means something else too.  Come on, you know what it is…  It’s all the people heading to the gym, in my case, the YMCA, and setting out to fulfill that resolution!  Don’t worry though.  In February it will be back to normal.

I haven’t drank any “Hater-ade” but I do find it quite amusing what you see when you go to the local pool.  There’s everything from the sidestroker to the families in one lane to the guy who doesn’t work there but who’s always there 24-7 to the aquacize ladies.

My first favorite character is the “Sidestroker.”  Yes, its that person who insists on doing the sidestroke.  Really?  I get it, I really do.  You find it really fun to do.  However, you really need not move to one side of the lane and insist on kicking over into the next lane.  I nearly make the Caddyshack pool scene become a reality every time I see your foot come across my vision.  Thanks I do plenty of triathlons to get kicked in the face, I don’t need you doing it to me in the pool.

The next character is the guy who’s always at the Y, 24-7 but doesn’t work there.  Really?  Do you have no life?  In this case, the man’s nickname is “Sarge.”  You always hear, “Hey, Sarge” this and “Hey, Sarge” that…  Dude.  Go home.  I really don’t care here to hear your opinion on last night’s basketball game, who you thinks going to be traded by that football team, nothing.  Oh yeah.  And those Under Armor are NOT jammers or Speedos.  Those are compression underwear.  I wish you’d realize you’re strutting around in your underwear…

The next characters I love are the aquacize ladies.  Ah yes.  Getting down to the top 40 hits of 2014.   Thank you.  I appreciate you constantly complaining about the water temps so the Y cranks up the temperature.  Those temps are really enjoyed when my face is burning up and my calves are beginning to cramp because it’s so bloody hot.  And, indeed, the five of you definitely need the five lanes that you close down for your class.  I realize you need space but I can assure you that you’d all fit into one lane if you really want to.  And one more thing, which is not your fault ladies, why do you have to have class at 5:30?  It’s when everyone is getting off of work.  I’m pretty confident none of you are working anymore.  Can’t you give us working parents a break and do your class around 3:00 pm?

There’s another guy at my pool that cracks me up.  Let’s call him the Karate Kid.  It seems like every time I take my kids with me, this guy is there.  Maybe because I usually take them on the weekends or just Facebook friends?  I don’t.  Anyways, every time I see him, he has a 2 liter bottle half full of water with him.  It’s for drinking right?  Wrong.  This guy takes the bottle and sets in on the edge of the pool.  Not weird, right?  Wait, there’s more.  He then proceeds to do karate moves being the crap out of this bottle for nearly an hour.  Really?  You need to get a new hobby.  After seeing this for four years, I think he should be able to have good enough balance to do it outside of the pool.  Maybe it’s just me…

The last characters are the ones that I just saw recently.  It was a family of snorkelers.  No not the Snorkels but a family of three wearing snorkels in the water.  Look, I have kids.  I love enjoying time with them in the water.  However, if you’re gonna just hang out on the sides and swim 25 yards every five minutes, move to the family swim area.  Please don’t take up a lane.  I do have to give you mad props for finding matching snorkels though.  Right on! 😉

Well, I think I’ve gone on long enough.  I pray that none of you get sidestroke kicked in the lane and may the snorkels stay out of your lane…


One thought on “There’s No “P” in Ool, Let’s Keep It That Way

  1. Creepy 24/7 guy….ewwwww

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